Oh Bollocks

Team America lost its fourth Ryder Cup in five years yesterday. Rats. While this is slightly upsetting, I put the loss nowhere close to soccer, basketball, or even Olympic woes. Europe is made up of almost fifty countries depending on how you count. If they limit participation to only the EU, we are still talking about twenty-five member states. Sure, your countries are small compared to our vast land, but who honestly thought this would be a fair tournament? There are golf courses in Europe older than our country. This is your sport. We learned, enjoyed, and mastered it, but proved that we do not have the depth of twenty-five countries. Congratulations. I haven’t thought of how to revamp this tournament, and am not sure I would recommend any changes at this point. In my eyes it is an unbelievable victory if America wins, and expected if they lose. Please remember this used to be a tournament between the U.S. and Great Britain.

Luck of the Irish

The luck of the Irish is alive and well. It must be, because last night's game certainly wasn't won with talent. Brady Quinn looked like a deer in headlights, a wounded puppy, or maybe the little brother his sister was so worried about AJ Hawk punishing last year. Any way you say it, it certainly wasn't "heisman canidate." I'm also pretty certain Jeff Samardzija loved playing baseball for the Cubs this spring, because he is about as committed to this team as Pakistan is to finding Bin Laden. Great win nevertheless coming back from 16-down to win by three with the fans, time, and severe weather against you. Glad my Saturday night on the couch in Morristown didn't end with the planned 9PM bed time. Congrats Irish.

Drugs, lies, and leaked grand jury testimonies

It’s a rough world out there. You have to decide what is important, and stand behind your decisions. To Barry Bonds, it was 73 home runs. To Victor Conte, founder of BALCO, it was money. To Greg Anderson, Bond's trainer, it was loyalty. And to Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams, the San Francisco Chronicle writers that leaked the story, it was distinguished journalism.

With these decisions came their respective consequences, tarnish, jail, jail, jail. Personally, I am fine with each outcome, and would like to voice my opinion before all the liberal journalists flood the press with their defense of Wada and Williams as the exception to the rule. It is against the law to leak grand jury testimonies. You are in contempt if you refuse to testify when subpoenaed. A book deal, money, and the truth were important to these men. Speak up, or sit next to Anderson and Big Earl with your mouth shut. This isn’t ‘nam. This is our legal system. There are rules.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez shot off so many great quotes at the UN General Assembly that there is nothing more to do than list them.

About Bush:
"The devil came here yesterday," "And it smells of sulfur still today."

"As the spokesman of imperialism, he came to share his nostrums to try to preserve the current pattern of domination, exploitation and pillage of the peoples of the world. An Alfred Hitchcock movie could use it as a scenario. I would even propose a title: 'The Devil's Recipe.'"

Chavez held up a book by Noam Chomsky on imperialism and said it encapsulated his arguments: "The American empire is doing all it can to consolidate its hegemonistic system of domination, and we cannot allow him to do that. We cannot allow world dictatorship to be consolidated."

He "stole the elections." "He is therefore a dictator"

"With this cowboy you can't even talk ... the Texan who walks around shooting from the hip."

About the UN:
"merely a deliberative organ" that meets once a year.

"We have no power, no power to make any impact on the terrible situation in the world"

"There is no way to save it."

About the US:
"The Soviet Union collapsed. The United States empire is on the way down and it will be finished in the near future, for the good of all mankind."

"Their freedoms are restricted through the Patriot Act. They are sent to die in Iraq for no reason. The people of the United States are being deceived."

In my country...

The first female space tourist took off from Kazakhstan yesterday. WHAT!? I thought this was a country where it went "man, camel, horse, dog, woman, rat, very small crick crick crick crick." Maybe Borat's trip to America really is improving life for the Kazak people. Niiiiiice.

Rex Manning Day

You all knew this one was coming, so I'll just let the numbers talk.

Rex Grossman 20 for 27, 289 Yards, 4 Touchdowns, 148.0 QB Rating

Tragic

Former smoking hot teacher apologizes for having sex with 14-year old boy. The poor kid accepted the apology, and asked if they could go again. Here's the video: "Yeah he wanted it, and yeah I gave it to him."

Anniversary

We will never forget. God bless all those affected by this tragedy, and God bless America.

I'm so pretty...

You are so pretty Maria. Congratulations on winning your second Grand Slam, and finally proving that beautiful girls can also be good at sports. We tried so hard with Kournikova, but were sorely disappointed. I honestly only have one request after the U.S. Open victory. Can you please stop running into the stands after winning a tournament? We gave you the benefit of your first win at Wimbledon because it was such an upset and you were this cute little 17 year-old Russian. Now, you are one of the top players in the world (I believe #2), and I think you should lose the antics. Stay on the court, and accept your trophy with grace. Justine Henin-Hardenne was standing on the court waiting for the awards presentation as you ran into the mezzanine to hug your father. Amateur hour. I’ll let your good looks move us past this one (and probably the next twelve), but I’m not happy about it.

Spectator Sport

With the I-AA matches over and the NFL season around the corner, I would like to officially kick off football season with a request. Can we please drop the TV time out? I understand the revenue argument, but clearly this problem has been solved by soccer. Put ads in the end zone and a logo next to the score all game. You can even tell me what company presents each half, quarter, minute, or down. Football is one of the greatest games on Earth spoiled by stoppage. When you sit on your couch at home it is hard to notice, but attend any game live and you’ll see the players standing around the line of scrimmage waiting anxiously. Only golf caters more to the television audience, but clearly not by choice. Please let them play.

Andre

Andre Agassi, thank you. I slept it over before writing this post to hopefully prevent sounding like Stuart Scott, as I admit some previous comments have. Your final US Open has been nothing short of a film-script. In the first match I couldn't stay awake through, you won two of three tiebreaks and 6-2 in the fourth to defeat Andrei Pavel. Then, in arguably one of the greatest matches ever played at this stage of the Open, you outlast a 21-year old from Cyprus. The match was looking like a landslide with the first two sets won 6-4, but Marcos Baghdatis took the third set 6-3. You were up 4-0 in the fourth set, but let nerves get the best of you to lose 5-7. Finally, everything was on the table in set five of possibly your final match. Dozing in and out, I amazingly woke up at 4-4 just in time to see a 20+ point ninth game with I believe eight deuces. At this point, Baghdatis was suffering from severe cramps making forfeit seem plausible. You held serve, but so did he, and it looked like we were headed to a fifth-set tiebreaker.

I was honestly smiling at the television at 1 a.m. knowing this was a win-win match. It was the perfect stage to go out, with the only other option a victory. This morning, I wonder if maybe the better scenario would have been a loss. It would be a shame to survive an "epic battle," and then leave the game in straight sets. Knowing Agassi though, this is a tongue-twisting far-fetched fate. I look forward to another win against the aptly named B. Becker from Germany. As Baghdatis eloquently stated after the match, you’ve “given so much to this sport.” Congrats.