The NFL has gone soft

Late hits out of bounds, roughing the passer, roughing the kicker, and personal fouls. Can we relax on the flag tossing here before this becomes powder puff? I realize the referees practice their pocket pitch and whistle blow all summer, but this isn’t high school gym class. These monstrous, arguable mutants are paid millions of dollars to be drafted, beat up, and pitched when they can no longer walk. That is the beauty of professional football. If you want to drink Crystal, throw sex parties on Lake Minnetonka, and drive an Escalade, you will probably die around forty or, at best, never play anything but golf with a cart once retired.

Here are my complaints: If a player is running down the sideline and you dive at him as his pinky toe touches the white, that should not be a late hit. If a quarterback or kicker has just released the ball and you can’t stop momentum, that should not be a flag. Finally, what is a horse collar? That used to be called a good tackle, now anytime you get within two inches of the guy’s neck it’s 15 yards. The straw that broke this one was when my 105-lb friend from high school’s ex-boyfriend, Mathias Kiwanuka, had the breakout Vince Young wrapped up in the closing minutes of New York’s incomprehensible loss. He thought he heard a whistle, and stopped before getting a personal foul and potentially giving Tennessee an important first down. Can you blame him? If you’ve ever been to an NFL game, you know every 100th person obnoxiously blows a whistle all game. I bet he did hear a whistle. I bet players hear whistles all the time. So what do you do? Do the refs find another device? Do they ban whistles from the stadium? Or, could we maybe just let him finish tackling Vince, and look up once he’s on the ground? That’s my vote.

Jazz

The Jazz are the number one team in the NBA, and off to the best start in franchise history (inclusive of the Karl Malone finals team which lost to MJ’s last ankle-breaking move on Byron Russell). Coincidence that they have three of the starting five from Illinois’ 2005 Championship team?

Hiro

Anybody watch Heroes? My friend told me it is the greatest show ever, and that I had to watch. The kid is in Hong Kong, but buys the shows on iTunes every week to ensure he doesn’t miss an episode. With that kind of endorsement I’ll check out anything. Well, so far it seems like the X-Men mini-series. There is little entertainment, and only forced cliffhangers in my opinion. Last night they said would be the culmination. Everything would come together and make perfect sense. They would explain the motto “save the cheerleader, save the world.” Personally, I was under whelmed. One hero went to Odessa, TX to meet this cheerleader, and arguably saved her temporarily. I still don’t understand the motto- why we need to save this girl, how the heroes are connected, or where the show is headed. Please explain if you have a better understanding of this series. I am at that turning point in my TV viewing where I’ve only got another three or four episodes before throwing in the towel. I do like the Japanese kid that can teleport though.

Turkey Week

There has been an overwhelming onslaught of potential blog material in the last couple of days. A city in Nevada only allows flying the American flag, the Cubs overpaid Alfonso Soriano for eight years after his 30th birthday, some hippie liberal pacifists called Hussein's trial inhumane ignoring the fact he has heartlessly murdered thousands, Kobe Bryant is wearing #24 (and although I haven't gotten to the bottom of this one, I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks he's one better than Jordan and Lebron), the Bears again have the best record in the NFL, OJ's book and interviews have been halted, Kramer dropped countless N bombs, the Bulls are allegedly a contender, and they found THREE TONS of cocaine in a "homemade submarine." Madness. You could almost say the world has turned upside down. Right before Thanksgiving nonetheless. So, what are you thankful for this year? What are the great things in your life? This is the beautiful time where we get to look back on the year with a positive perspective. Forget about the madness, the insignificant daily hinderances, the sadness, the losses, the depression, and the imperfections. After all, it is only one month before we need to make resolutions and repeat the strive. Enjoy your family, friends, and food. Enjoy your life! Happy Thanksgiving!

Seven Wonders

A friend, and probably our most loyal reader, informed me yesterday that the 7 Wonders of the World list is up for renewal. With only one of the ancient seven remaining (Great Pyramid of Giza), they will apparently be holding a global vote to determine a new seven next July 7th (7/7/07). The list removed arguable contenders like the Sears Tower, John Hancock Building, and Soldier Field, to arrive at the final 77. They are now down to only 21 (3x7 I guess).

To ensure this provides sufficient entertainment for an entire day, in case you are hungover and finding everything in the office too bright and loud, here are some resources to form your own opinion and vote:

The Official Site
Wikipedia Background
The List of 77
The Final List of 21 with some commentary

O.J.

O.J. Simpson is a psycho. He is going on television to talk about how he would have murdered his wife and her lover if, hypothetically, he were the killer. The interview is a publicity stunt for his new book if I DID IT. Are you kidding me? You sick animal.

Emmitt

Emmitt Smith just won Dancing with the Stars. Feel it. Tucker Carlson, one of my top ten nemeses and unfortunately neighbor, was the first kicked off the show. Those are the little things.

Tommy

This is verbatim off Tom's facebook profile: Activities- “Being sexy by the pool, getting tan, wearing pink, being blonde, showing up at ex-girlfriends houses.” Nothing amazes me with this cat anymore.

Hoop Heaven Basketball

If you’ve all been on the edge of your seats for the comeback story of the year, here is the update. We are 0-6 with the plot thickening nicely. Every team in the league is guaranteed a playoff spot, and our team has gradually developed something that almost resembles chemistry. After losing the first two games by 35 and 61, we have steadily decreased from 25 point to 3 and 6-point losses. I am not comfortable at this point suggesting we should have a motion picture or mini series on ABC, but potentially an ESPY or two will be in the cards once we run the playoffs as the last seed.

The Weekend

Borat was niiiiice!

Armstrong is a stud, but those Kenyans are disgustingly fast.

Even the Super Bowl Champion ’85 Bears lost to the Dolphins.

And, most importantly, Hussein was sentenced to death by hanging.